Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List

NAOMI Shiver I lie all the time. I lied to Mrs. Loy from the fourteenth floor when I assured her that I walked her dog three times a day and watered her plants while she went to Atlantic City to win the money for her son's sad operation (or for her own elective plastic surgery I'm not sure). I lied to the co-op board of my family's apartment building about my mom's episode that left our living room wall in partial collapse soon after Dad left. I also backed up Mom's lies to the board that we'd pay for the damage. Monkeys will fly outta my butt before we'll be able to come up with the money to fix the fallout. The way I figure, if Mom and I aren't bothered living in ruins, why should the co-op board care? I lied to the NYU Admissions Committee that I care about my future and my education. I'm barely a year out of high school, and already I know this NYU deal is a losing proposition. I live out the college freshman lie to hold on to the only thing in my life that's not in ruinsEly. I lied to Robin (A) from psych class when I assured her that Robin (A) from that time at the Starbucks at Eighth and University Y her and will call her. There's no $$$ for me to move into the school dorms, and Robin's a sophomore with a rare single who goes home on the weekends and lets me use her place when I need to escape The Building. The apartment building where I've lived my whole life may be situated on prime Greenwich Village real estate, but escape from it is my prime priority: escape from parent drama or my lies or Mr. McAllister, the creepy up-and-down elevator man who lives down the hall from Mrs. Loy and who's been ogling me since I was thirteen and my breasts first announced themselves in the elevator mirror. I've lied to Mom every time I've told her I've stayed the night at Robin's when really I've stayed over at my boyfriend's dorm room. I lie to myself that I need to lie about my whereabouts. It's not like Bruce the Second and I are doing it. We're more about a & in bed, then turn out the light, and just sleep'til he leaves in the morning for his accounting class. I lie to him that I think accounting is a worthwhile subject to study. I lied to Robin (A) when he won our chess game in Washington Square Park after that time with Robin (A), and the price of my loss was my supposed obligation to answer Truth to his midnight question. Robin said he'd watched five men trip over themselves from checking me out, while I merely glared at them. Robin wanted to know if I use my beauty for good or evil. Evil, I assured him. Lie. Truth: I'm as pure as fresh snow over Washington Square Park on a winter morning, before the dogs and people and machines of this hard, hard city batter its perfect, peaceful beauty. I lied to Bruce the Second when I promised we would have sex, the real kind, soon. Very soon. We'd barely made it to ' when his R.A. walked in and interrupted us. It felt like cheating on Ely. I lied to Bruce the First when I let him believe he would be my first. Ely is supposed to be first. I can wait. Then maybe I'll let Bruce the Second truly be second. I lied to the three different men and one girl at the Astor Place Starbucks who eyed me in the wall mirror today and then wanted to sit in the empty chair opposite mine. I pretended I didn't hear them through my '. They could go E themselves elsewhere. I placed my feet up on the empty chair, to reserve it for Ely. Only Ely. Mostly, I lie to Ely. N lie to ee-lie. Ely calls my cell while I lie in wait for him. "I'm runLevithan, David is the author of 'Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List ', published 2007 under ISBN 9780375944406 and ISBN 0375944400.