Heart of Grace

Twentythree years later, Iraq Life as he knew it was about to end. Drew Michaels had made a mistake and now he had to pay the price. No matter how much it hurt, no matter how badly he wanted to hang on, he had to let go of the most important thing in his lifehis marriage. He just hoped he could survive the aftermath. "Mr. Michaels, take a shot of that." Camera ever ready, Drew followed the direction of his driver's pointed finger but didn't press the shutter. He was on assignment somewhere outside Baghdad, and if he'd seen one herd of goats he'd seen them all. He wasn't in much of a mood today to take useless photos. Or any kind of photos, come to think of it. The memory of yesterday's telephone conversation with Larissa was too fresh and painful. he'd finally told her the truth. Well, not the real truth, but the truth she needed to hear. Their marriage had been a mistake, and he wanted a divorce. Remembering her reaction made him want to shoot something all right, but not with his camera. Larissa had cried. He hated himself for that, just as he hated himself for ever thinking he could make a woman like her happy. Any woman, for that matter. Drew Michaels didn't have what it took to settle down and be a husband and father. He wanted to. He just couldn't. He and Amil, the amiable Iraqi driver, were bumping through another nameless village with the usual string of squat, sandcolored buildings and local citizens going about the normal business of living. Women in long, flowingabayahs,children herding goats with a stick, soldiers poised with automatic rifles. Drew had spent so much time in the Middle East that the military presence had actually started to look normal to him. Next week he was off to Indonesia.A volcano was on the howl, and disasters were his specialty. Earthquakes, volcanoes, famine, war. You name it, he shot it. Not the usual stuff though. That was boring. He either went for that elusive moment of ambient light or for the people, the human side, the kids. He was good and he knew it. In fact, photography was the only thing he'd ever been good at. If he'd stuck to his work, he wouldn't be in this mess now. Sand swirled up in front of the jeep and Drew shaded his face. Sunglasses weren't adequate protection against Middle Eastern sand and a photographer couldn't be too careful of his eyes. Photographic art buffs said he had great artistic vision, an eye for the perfect detail. Able to capture an image that spoke to the consciousness. He didn't know about all that, but he didn't argue. If they wanted to pay exorbitant prices for his photos, he'd take their money. The memory of one particular photo exhibition shimmied to the surface. Tulsa. Three years ago. he'd felt as phony as his last name. All those society types swarming around a display of his work, murmuring things like, "inspired," or "provocative." He should have known then to cut and run. But he hadn't. And then Larissa had walked toward him, an artsy diamond choker around her elegant neck, sparkling diamonds dangling from her ears. His eye for detail had served him well at that moment, though he'd wished for a camera to capture her. In a long white fitted gown of some satiny material, chestnut hair pulled up at the sides, one gleaming lock over a bare shoulder, she'd captivated him. he'd never expected to love anybody, but he'd fallen in love with Larissa on the spot. It was stupid and foolish. Now he had to right the wrong he'd done to her. "Another week and I'm out of here, Amil," he said to the driver. "Going home to your woman, huh?" His woman. The words poked at him like a sticker. He should have known back then that Larissa was too wonderful for a street bum like him. He should have known he didn't have what it took to be a husband. Attention diverted by a soldier and an Iraqi toddler inGoodnight, Linda is the author of 'Heart of Grace ', published 2007 under ISBN 9780373813155 and ISBN 0373813155.